Milkshake Thoughts

12 PM: This lunch is crap; I’m going to get a milkshake this afternoon.

2:55 PM: I’ll type that contract when I get back. It’s milkshake time.

3:05 PM: “Chocolate Milkshake, please!”

Small or Large?” Um…small is probably the better choice. But small seems so…small. Is large too much? Ah, well. “Large!” Treat yo self!

Whipped cream? Cherry? Name for your order?” Why are you still asking questions? Just take my money and give me my milkshake.

3:07 PM: YASS, MILKSHAKE!

3:11 PM: Holy crap, why did I get a large?

3:15 PM: How have I already enjoyed half of this exceptionally large milkshake before I’ve made it the short walk back to the office? *shrug*

*Drink more*

3:55 PM: How is there still so much milkshake left? It’s like Mary Poppins’s magic Chick-Fil-A cup.

4:07 PM: Large milkshake…I’m a donkey, there’s no way I’m finishing this.

4:10 PM: I think I might explode. Milkshake everywhere.

That would be pretty funny, though. Spontaneous milkshake combustion.

Ah, it hurts to laugh.

4:15 PM: WHYYY?? I don’t ever want a milkshake again.

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Adult Milkshake

Every so often, it hits me that I’m an adult. Yes, I go through my life acknowledging I’m a grown up with bills and a job and responsibility and all that boring adult-stuff. But once in a while, I remember being an adult means I’m my own boss.

Last night, I really wanted ice cream when I got home. And I racked my brain for quick dinner recipes I could throw together that would make it acceptable for me to then have dessert.

Then I remembered: I’m an adult. I can have ice cream for dinner if I want.

Also, my husband was at a work happy hour and would likely want actual dinner when he arrived home. So basically, I was just killing time with a little ice cream.

The only real problem was the ice cream we currently have is sub-par flavor-wise. It was a sad day when I combed through the ice cream aisle at the grocery store only to find all the flavors and brands acceptable to both my husband and me (my husband will only eat ice cream from cartons that have the plastic seal on the outside and remember, I had that mouth surgery so I can’t have anything with nuts or super chewy chunks yet) were covered in a layer of frost. And I wasn’t trying to eat crunchy, freezer-burnt ice cream.

Did you know Yuengling makes ice cream? Me neither, until I saw the cartons at Harris Teeter. Apparently they started selling ice cream to keep their family business afloat during Prohibition. And they are ah-mazing at making ice cream. They should be even better known for their mint chocolate chip than they are for their beer.

So, I was at Giant (it’s slightly more convenient to stop here on my drive home from work than the Teeter) about to tearfully give up on my ice cream quest, when I spotted a 2 for $3 pint deal for none other than Yuengling ice cream. I was so pumped. In that moment, it didn’t matter that the only flavors were root beer float and black & tan. I grabbed one of each and went on my merry way.

Of course I got home and thought w-t-f, why would anyone want ice cream flavored like the delicious beverage it can help create? That’s pure laziness. I was ashamed of myself. At least the black & tan is a chocolate-caramel swirl.

Obviously, I still tried it. I mean, it’s still ice cream. And root beer floats are possibly my favorite way to enjoy ice cream.

I’ll say this for Yuengling: their ice cream is dope no matter how weird the flavor. Still *highly* recommend them.

My husband is a traditionalist when it comes to ice cream. He’s not into “birthday cake” flavor or “strawberry cheesecake” and he felt the same about “root beer float.” So it’s up to me to finish that bad boy. And I mean, it’s good, but it’s not eat-an-entire-pint-in-one-sitting-good. (Also, I try to follow the serving size. I might have two servings in a night if I’m feeling particularly feisty–or adult-y–but I try).

A lot of things came together last night to make for a pretty delicious concoction on my part. I had the weird ice cream flavor. I had a hankering for cold, creamy goodness. My husband was at a happy hour. I wanted my hour to be happy, too. The obvious conclusion: add some alcohol.

I love butterscotch. My husband does not. If I’d known that this winter, I wouldn’t have bought such a large bottle of butterscotch schnapps for my hot buttered rum recipe. But I didn’t, so I did, and now we have a ton of the stuff. I figured it couldn’t hurt anything tossing a splash of it over my two heaping scoops of root beer ice cream and half-cup of milk. And while I was adding liquor anyway, might as well throw in some vodka to give it a real adult-kick.

This ended up being a little too much liquid, so I dug out the last of our freezer-burnt chocolate ice cream, avoiding the biggest ice crystals, and got a big enough scoop to mix in and bring the consistency back to a nice, thick milkshake.

The improvised recipe is below, but if you’ve ever made a milkshake by stirring your ice cream till it’s super soft, you can handle making a drink like this. Unless you’re not 21, in which case get out of here and come back when you’re old enough to complain about not getting carded.

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Adult Milkshake – Root Beer Float

  • About 2-3 big scoops of Yuengling Root Beer Float flavored ice cream (we don’t have an ice cream scooper. It was lost sometime around when we moved just before the wedding, and I haven’t gotten around to replacing it, so we use regular spoons. It makes gauging scoop-sizes difficult, but otherwise works fine)
  • Enough milk to cover 3/4 of the scoops in a glass (~1/2 cup)
  • Splash of butterscotch schnapps
  • Shot of vodka (we use Tito’s)
  • 1 scoop chocolate ice cream

Stir the 3 scoops ice cream with the milk until it reaches desired consistency. Add the alcohol and stir immediately to mix well. Stir in chocolate ice cream until smooth and enjoy.