Hello, friends! It’s been a little bit, and mostly that’s because I’ve been busy (but also, a little lazy).
So we *moved*. The Navy Yard area of DC is so fun and surprisingly pretty (I’ll admit, I was expecting a lot more concrete, but there are parks and tree-lined streets not far in the beautiful Capitol Hill neighborhood). I will definitely need to post about the great food and drinks we’ve experienced thus far!
I also started a new job! It happened a lot faster than I expected, which is mostly good because I was already starting to get a little stir-crazy–though a little extra time between jobs may have provided more writing opportunities.
Who am I kidding? I started the querying process shortly after the move, so rather than putting pen to paper, I was crafting letters and cramming the happenings of my story into a single page (double-spaced). This process gave me terrible writer’s block, because my brain was so focused on the nittiest, grittiest of details rather than letting my imagination roam free.
So my lack of creativity mingled with my lack of hearing back from agents I queried, sprinkled with stress over starting a new job in a new city with a new, hellish commute has had me bouncing from high to low and back again. The best way to explain how I’ve felt this past month would be to say I vacillate between “High Hopes” by Panic! At The Disco and “Special” by Shinedown with very little neutral ground. Though, I’m pleased to report things just might be looking up for me in the writing world. To be continued…
That’s all I’ve got for right now, I’ll try to get back to semi-regular posting once I’m more settled into a routine. I’ve definitely got the commute for composing rambles!
I’m back with another playlist of songs that I’m jamming hard to! Some are new(ish), some have been around forever. It’s not the most cohesive list, but they all make me crank up the volume!
- Halfway Right – Linkin Park (“All you said to do was slow down, but I was already gone…”)
- Reflections* – Lucidious (I’ve got to have a Lucidious song on here–I’m convinced he’s me in rapper-form: “I ask myself would I write this shit if nobody loved it?”)
- Hostage – Griffin Oskar (the chorus gets me belting it out like “‘Cause love don’t wanna let me leave AND-I’M-A-HOSTAGE!”)
- BKCBD* – The Blancos (“And we don’t know who we are, just Broken Kids Chasing Broken Dreams”)
- Someone to Rely On – John Allred (from the first strum, this song *feels* as reliable as the title implies. Definitely a song for every couple I’ve ever written, but especially fits for my future piratey story)
- Play That Song – Train (so the melody of this song is totally “borrowed” from Heart and Soul by Hoagie Carmichael, which is my #1 song for my WWII series I’ve been working on, which immediately made me love it. That it’s so peppy and fun only makes it better)
- Old Town Road (Remix) – Lil Nas X, Billy Ray Cyrus (this one just makes me think of the OBC–my husband’s friends from business school)
- Secrets – Tribe Society (this song is really badass, and one I’m definitely saving for some powerful, dark character someday)
- bury a friend – Billie Eilish (another fun one to bounce along to, with a kind of dark twist. Also works for Solvi heading into Book 2)
- Someone You Loved – Lewis Capaldi (this song gives me all the feels. Also perfect for my pirate story, but could fit Einar/Solvi, too…)
- Never Really Over – Katy Perry (I *adore* this song. Every shift in the music is amazing, and I love bopping around to the “just-because-it’s-over-doesn’t-mean-it’s-really-over…” part)
Like I said, it’s a weird mix, but if you’re interested in listening to the entire playlist, you can find it here.
It occurred to me the other day how similar my life is to a season of The Bachelor. Okay, it isn’t really, but just bear with me. I’m part of this online writing community called Scribophile, where we upload chapters of our works-in-progress, and read and critique each others’ works. It’s amazing and encouraging and so so helpful.
But. Sometimes I feel a little guilty about how long it takes me to return a critique. I get wrapped up in some stories and just want to keep reading them, other relationships be damned!, but I try to be fair about returning the attention I receive. If someone takes the time to offer me feedback on a chapter, I want to show my appreciation by offering the same. Also, there are several stories I’m really into–not just one. I’ve established critique relationships with a bunch of people and enjoy the dialogue we maintain about our works on a regular basis, so I feel like I’m missing a friend when we go too long without conversing.
So anyway, I was chatting with one friend about his story and thinking about how I want to just charge ahead and finish his book so we can have a full, big-picture type discussion (and because I’m very excited for the developments I know are coming up because I totally peeked ahead–don’t tell my mom, I hate it when she does this!). Meanwhile, I have the first chapter of a whole new story/crit-relationship pulled up to start on, and I got this irrational thought that it was almost like cheating on his story, because I felt so excited about this new one. And that’s crazy, because loving a new story doesn’t make previously-read stories any less loved (I’ve got several bookshelves of proof).
Maybe it’s because The Bachelorette recently started its newest season, but my mind instantly went to the show, and how one person seems to genuinely enjoy her time with every guy when it’s his turn. It’s always seemed odd to me, like can she really be so *into* this one when she was just laughing so hard with that one?
Obviously this is a very different scenario. I’m just saying that I see now how something can be absorbing and delightful and take up a person’s full attention, only for the same to be true of something similar (and yet, completely different).
The other day we were walking up the stairs and he mentioned ever so casually that “Darkness Falls scared me too. I still think about every so often when I realize I’m standing in the dark.” And I was like *yay I’m not the only loser still deeply affected by a horror film about tooth fairies* and then I thought wait, how did I not know this until now? and THEN I realized: “Hey! You read my blog post!” which shouldn’t have been surprising because he always does read them. He’s just been so busy with school and applying for jobs and carefully not mentioning reading my blog because then I’ll ask if he’s read the most recent book chapter I’ve sent him and really passive aggressively mention something along the lines of “so much for reading a chapter a day, huh?” and he’ll feel guilty because he loves me but hates reading apparently, and I’ll feel guilty for feeling pleased that I made him feel guilty and it’s just a whole big thing.
I’m here to talk to you today about the scariest movie I’ve seen. Mostly because I think about it every-freakin-day as I walk up the stairs from the garage to my apartment.
There’s a light out on the landing between the 4th and 5th floors in my stairwell, which isn’t exactly a “safety issue”–it creates a *tiny* pocket of darkness one must step inside as she turns the corner around the stair railing, but otherwise visibility is fine. NO ONE would take issue with this (beyond the frustration of like hello, can someone change a lightbulb? what kind of professionally managed building is this??) unless they’ve been scarred for life by a horror movie involving darkness.
I’ve never been one for scary movies, but most of the (admittedly few) horror flicks I’ve seen haven’t lingered like this one–and the friends who watched Darkness Falls with me laughed at the ridiculousness and fondly reminisced about how the restroom lights were out at the theater the day they’d gone to see it the first time. I remember being afraid during Halloween H20 (the only of the Halloween franchise I’ve seen, oddly enough), The Bogeyman, The Descent, The Hills Have Eyes…but I could hardly tell you anything that happens in any of them now.
I tried watching Darkness Falls again, thinking a second go around would help me laugh it off the way those friends had. It only reignited my terror of the dark (something I already had and continue to deal with on occasion to this day).
See, the whole premise is you can’t peek when the tooth fairy comes to take your lost teeth, or else she’ll murder you. And OF COURSE the stupid kid peeks, so she murders his family while he takes cover in the fully-lit bathroom, because any light burns her. The image of her floating in the shadows above the door to the bathroom as it spills light into the hallway is BURNED onto my brain and I think of it every single time I reach that damn dark landing in my stairwell.
SO if any 4th or 5th floor neighbors happen to read this blog, those terrified high-heeled stomps you hear every day around 5pm belong to me, racing away from the potential tooth fairy who may or may not be out for my blood because I totally saw her when I watched the movie.
Any movies still fill you with irrational fear? Please tell me I’m not alone!
(Of course, I’m not. The tooth fairy is waiting around every shadow *wink*)
Brightly Burning by Alexa Donne was the 5th book I finished this year (because OF COURSE I’m counting) and it was such a delight.
It takes my favorite classic: Jane Eyre, teases out all the modern-day young-adult themes I know and love, and plops the storyline on a futuristic space ship orbiting Earth.
Stella, our main character, is a delightful young woman who is both bold and understands her “place” in terms of social structure. I could relate whole-heartedly to her, preferring to keep to her quarters and read or draw rather than socialize with her peers, getting brazen only under the influence of a few strong drinks, or once she’s comfortable. Hugo, the love interest (yes, that’s the role I’m designating for him–I suppose he could be a quasi-antagonist much like the Mr. Rochester he’s based upon), is mysterious and broody, maybe more handsome than the original but I let that slide. Personally, I liked the mysterious Mr. Rochester being so much older (maybe it’s my thing for Bruce Willis making age gaps feel so irrelevant), and so was a touch disappointed Hugo was around Stella’s age–but then I figured it’s way less ok for a 17-year-old to start a love affair with her older employer in this day and age than it might have been in Charlotte Brontë’s time.
I loved that this story had that comforting familiarity of a well-loved story, yet enough new twists/plot points to keep things fresh. More than once I found myself thinking “well Jane Eyre went this direction, but there’s no way for that to happen here” or “how will she handle X if Y is so different in this version?” so nothing felt stale.
If you like SciFi YA (that’s science fiction young adult, mom), hundo p–this book is for you. If you’re a fan of Jane Eyre, I’d also highly recommend this novel.
It’s been long enough. First off, I completely get why people do it. It makes sense that taking a month to discipline yourself into carving out chunks of time to write, a time when so many people around the world are also writing, encouraging you on, all of that goodness would help a person get 50,000 words onto a page.
I’m very competitive. I do not like to lose. As soon as I start to feel like I’m losing, I hate whatever game I’m playing and just want to quit.
I’m also not a quitter. It makes for a really uncomfortable experience when part of me wants to pout and storm off and the other part is like nah we gotta at least finish this bitch. Add to that the desire to be more forgiving and loving towards myself and you get a hot freaking mess come mid-November.
I think I got around 20,000 words written, which is no small thing. But unlike last summer, when I was churning out several thousand words a day, my heart wasn’t in it. My head was barely in it–more focused on word count and “sprints” and the desire to edit my current story rather than start working on the sequel. Plus my husband was around, which makes it so hard.
That’s the best problem to have as a writer/human being, though. I have someone in my life whose very presence makes it hard to focus on other things. Even if he’s in the other room working on schoolwork or watching TV, a part of me just wants to be beside him, and feels like any moment I’m not is ultimately squandered. That also makes it difficult to pursue my writing sometimes, which is frustrating and makes me angry with him for making me love him so damn much. There was a lot of moodiness in November that only added to the misery of failing at Nanowrimo wordcounts and falling behind in working on my current novel.
So, for me, it was a very good lesson learned: National Novel Writing Month is not a thing I’ll participate in again, at least not in the near future.